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30 August 2010 10:59:37 AM UTC in Jokes

Restaurant Jokes


Restaurant Jokes are based on the interactions between the customer and the waiter in a restaurant and are funny, hilarious and are often sarcastic.

Restaurant Jokes My wife and I went for a meal the other night and I surprised everyone there by
ordering in French. It was an Italian restaurant.

My wife and I went for a meal the other night and I said to the waiter "This
chicken is stone cold". "It should be" he replied "It has been dead for over a
week.

My wife and I went for a meal last week and I said to the waiter "Did you know
that this chicken has got one leg longer than the other?" The waiter replied "Do
you want to eat it or have a dance with it?".
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:40 AM UTC

 

Funny Restaurant Jokes I was in a restaurant last week and the waiter asked me for my order. "Can you tell me how you prepare the chickens "I asked. " Nothing fancy, Sir" replied the waiter "We simply tell them they are going to die".

A couple were dining in a fancy restaurant when the waitress spots the man sliding
under the table whilst the woman seeming totally unconcerned.
As he slid completely under the table, the waitress went across and quietly whispered to the woman "Excuse me but your husband has just slid under your table".
"Oh no he hasn't" said the woman " He has just walked in."

A man goes into a restaurant and asks "Do you serve crab"
"As long as it is correctly dressed sir, we do" replied the waiter.
 
A man went into a restaurant and asked "Do you serve lobsters?" The waiter replied " If it can pay we will sir".

My brother went for a meal with a Chess fanatic the other day. There was a
checked tablecloth where they ate. Do you know it took three hours for him to
pass my brother the salt.
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:23 AM UTC

 

Restaurant Jokes
I went to a restaurant last week and just as my soup arrived, I needed the toilet. To
make sure that no-one tampered with it, I wrote on my napkin "I have spit in this
soup". On my return I noticed that the waiter had written on the napkin "that's
Okay, so have I".

I went into a restaurant the other day and ordered fish and chips. Twenty five
minutes later, a rather rotund waitress came to my table and said "Sorry about the
weight "I replied "it's not your fault, try and cut down on your food intake."

Bob to Nancy "Did I tell you about that brilliant restaurant that has just been
discovered on the moon? Nancy to Bob "No, you haven't; what is it like" Bob to Nancy "Amazing cuisine - but no atmosphere.
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:07 AM UTC

 
(guest)
(guest)

10

Reply

KELVIN KABII NJUE .
KELVIN KABII NJUE .

wiater

A KENYAN COUPLE GOT INTO A JAPANESE RESTAURANT AND ORDERED FRIED CHICKEN AND HOT WATER .AFTER AROUND A MINUTE AFTER THEY WERE SERVED A FLY FELL IN THE WATER AND THEY AGAIN CALLED THE WAITER AND TOLD HIM WHAT HAS HAPPENED .HE TOLD THEM THAT FLY-SOUP WAS THE MOST EXPENSIVE IN THERE AND THEY WERE UNLUCKY BECAUSE THEY HAD TO PAY FOR IT. THEY DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY AND THEY HAD TO SLAUGHTER SNAIL AND SUBMIT THEM TO THE HOTEL MANAGER FOR CHECKING BEFORE COOKING
20 September 2012 11:36:24 AM UTC
0 Replies
Angela.D  .
Angela.D .

muddled waiter!

A woman had just finished eating her food. When she was walking out she saw a jar on the counter that said 'tips please'. So she said to the waiter "I think that's not necessary "
Waiter: "why not?"
Woman: "you asked for tips, I'm giving you mine."
17 March 2012 5:01:19 AM UTC
0 Replies
Angela.D  .
Angela.D .

Strong food!

A man and woman went to the local Restraunt in town to eat seafood. and the man says " Can I get some mussels please"
Waiter: "sorry I cant do that"
Man: "why?"
waiter: "because its something you'll have gain yourself!"
17 March 2012 4:54:16 AM UTC
0 Replies
Mercy L-A .
Mercy L-A .

Rasism

A Black man walks into a restaurant and sits down. He is the only black person in the restaurant

A white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."

The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:

"Listen sir....when I was born I was BLACK, "

"When I grew up I was BLACK, "

"When I'm sick I'm BLACK, "

"When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, "

"When I'm cold I'm BLACK, "

"When I die I'll be BLACK."

"But you sir."

"When you're born you're pink, "

"When you grow up you're white, "

"When you're sick, you're green, "

"When you go in the sun you turn red, "

"When you're cold you turn blue, "

"And when you die you turn purple."

"And you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away....

(anonymous) .
(anonymous) .

Confused Customer

Customer: This food is delicious.

(waiter comes and hands customer the bill)

Waiter: Sorry about the weight.

Customer: Weight? What weight? I got my food already.

Waiter: Yes, I know, but this food can make you gain weight. That's why I said, "Sorry about the weight."
23 December 2011 10:53:12 PM UTC
0 Replies
Makaela .
Makaela .

MLcUFpFewN

Most help articles on the web are incacurtae or incoherent. Not this!
16 December 2011 11:09:32 PM UTC
0 Replies
khushi pokharel nepal ,kathmandu,sanepa .
khushi pokharel nepal ,kathmandu,sanepa .

a panda at restaurant

A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the manager shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
25 November 2011 6:58:19 AM UTC
0 Replies
aaron .
aaron .

the restaurant joke

a man was at a restaurant and the waiter put a knife and a spoon on the table and the man said i need a fork on the table! and the waiter said no no you can not have a fuck on the table and the man said no you do not understand me i need a fork on the table!

later on in a bigger restaurant the man said the the maid please maim may i have a sheet on the bed and the maid said no no you can not have a shit on the bed and the man said no you do not understaind me i need a sheet on the bed!!!!! lol :D (all the speaking was in a italian accsent) thanx
15 April 2011 4:36:22 PM UTC
0 Replies