30 August 2010 10:59:37 AM UTC in Jokes

Restaurant Jokes

Restaurant Jokes are based on the interactions between the customer and the waiter in a restaurant and are funny, hilarious and are often sarcastic.

Restaurant Jokes My wife and I went for a meal the other night and I surprised everyone there by
ordering in French. It was an Italian restaurant.

My wife and I went for a meal the other night and I said to the waiter "This
chicken is stone cold". "It should be" he replied "It has been dead for over a

My wife and I went for a meal last week and I said to the waiter "Did you know
that this chicken has got one leg longer than the other?" The waiter replied "Do
you want to eat it or have a dance with it?".
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:40 AM UTC


Funny Restaurant Jokes I was in a restaurant last week and the waiter asked me for my order. "Can you tell me how you prepare the chickens "I asked. " Nothing fancy, Sir" replied the waiter "We simply tell them they are going to die".

A couple were dining in a fancy restaurant when the waitress spots the man sliding
under the table whilst the woman seeming totally unconcerned.
As he slid completely under the table, the waitress went across and quietly whispered to the woman "Excuse me but your husband has just slid under your table".
"Oh no he hasn't" said the woman " He has just walked in."

A man goes into a restaurant and asks "Do you serve crab"
"As long as it is correctly dressed sir, we do" replied the waiter.
A man went into a restaurant and asked "Do you serve lobsters?" The waiter replied " If it can pay we will sir".

My brother went for a meal with a Chess fanatic the other day. There was a
checked tablecloth where they ate. Do you know it took three hours for him to
pass my brother the salt.
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:23 AM UTC


Restaurant Jokes
I went to a restaurant last week and just as my soup arrived, I needed the toilet. To
make sure that no-one tampered with it, I wrote on my napkin "I have spit in this
soup". On my return I noticed that the waiter had written on the napkin "that's
Okay, so have I".

I went into a restaurant the other day and ordered fish and chips. Twenty five
minutes later, a rather rotund waitress came to my table and said "Sorry about the
weight "I replied "it's not your fault, try and cut down on your food intake."

Bob to Nancy "Did I tell you about that brilliant restaurant that has just been
discovered on the moon? Nancy to Bob "No, you haven't; what is it like" Bob to Nancy "Amazing cuisine - but no atmosphere.
By (anonymous)
on 30 August 2010 11:03:07 AM UTC