Funny Doctor Jokes are the funniest jokes about bumbling nurses, silly patients and forgetful doctors. This is a category of joke that most will be able to associate with.
Doctor Jokes are universal in the sense anyone can understand the essence of the joke without it being too regional. Some of these doctor jokes are really funny and hilarious; just enjoy reading these comedy jokes.
Hilarious Doctor Patient Joke
In the operation theatre:
Patient: Doctor, please do the operation safely. This is my first operation.
Doctor: It’s my first operation too.
on 12/4/2009 10:58:41 AM
Medical Store Patient Joke
Buyer: Do you sell this medicine?
Buyer: It’s fake and poisonous.
Seller: But nobody complained about it before.
Buyer: How can dead people complain?
on 12/4/2009 10:59:01 AM
Stupid Doctor Stupid Patient Joke
Once a man ran to the Doctor,'
My wife accidentally drank some petrol. Now she is running in the house. What should I do?'
Doctor smiled, 'Lock all the doors and windows in the house. She will stop when the petrol is over.'
on 12/4/2009 11:00:34 AM
A busy dentist and a patient:
Patient: Doctor, my teeth...
Doctor: I know what to do. Open your mouth.
When the patient opened his mouth and the dentist pulled three of his front teeth.
Patient: What have you done?!
Doctor: Its weird, I pulled three of your teeth without any bleeding.
Patient: Those were fake teeth.
on 12/4/2009 11:01:11 AM
Crazy Doctor Joke
Doctor: Mr. Jones, I have two news for you. One is good and the other one is bad. Which one you want to hear first?
Mr. Jones: tell me the bad one.
Doctor: The bad news is, both your legs have to be removed.
Mr. Jones: And the good news?
Doctor: I will buy all your shoes cheaply.
on 12/4/2009 11:01:38 AM
Doctor and Patient
Patient: You couldn’t treat my malaria disease, don’t I have cancer?
Doctor: No, why do you think that?
Patient: Another doctor treated my friend as a malaria patient, but he died on cancer.
Doctor: Relax, I don’t do much mistakes. If I treat anyone as a malaria patient, he always dies due to malaria.
on 12/4/2009 11:02:43 AM
Operation Theatre Joke
Patient: I will be fine after the operation, right?
Doctor: yes. But the operation is very complicated. Nine out of ten people die after this operation.
Patient: What? Then how come you are getting sure about my safety?
Doctor: Maybe you are the luckiest tenth person.
on 12/4/2009 10:59:34 AM
Operation successful!! You can hear everything from now.
Did you say something?
on 12/4/2009 11:00:50 AM
Doctor English Fail
Patient: Doctor, I can’t breathe perfectly.
Doctor: Don’t worry, I will stop it permanently.
on 12/4/2009 11:03:13 AM
Husband, Wife and Doctor Joke
Doctor: Your husband needs a proper rest. Here are some sleeping tablets.
Woman: When will he have these?
Doctor: It’s for you, not for him.
on 12/4/2009 11:04:05 AM
Patient: Doctor, give me a medicine which will change my mood to an angry mood.
Doctor: You don’t need any medicine. One of my slaps will be enough.
on 12/4/2009 11:03:42 AM
Kids Vs. Doctors Joke
Two friends run to a doctor, one of them said,
'Doctor, I accidentally swallowed a marble. Please get it out from my stomach.'
Doctor: Yes sure, but why your friend is here?
Boy: Because it’s his marble.
on 12/4/2009 11:04:31 AM
Mr. Jones: Doctor, my son is having a problem.
He plugged up his ear and nose with chilies. Now he is screaming.
Doctor: That means he is not eating properly.
on 12/4/2009 11:05:02 AM
A woman visited a Doctor.
Woman: Doctor, I have a problem. I am...
Doctor: I know your problem. You always dream that you have become a horse, right?
Woman: How do you know?!
Doctor: Your pony tail hair style.
on 12/4/2009 11:05:27 AM
Doctor One Liner Joke
Doctor to patient: You lost your memory so I want the payment in advance now.
on 12/4/2009 10:59:48 AM
Fail Doctor Joke
Doctor: The payment check you gave me has bounced back from the bank.
Patient: Because the disease you cured before had returned as well.
on 12/4/2009 11:02:07 AM
Doctor: Here is the medicine. Take four spoons daily.
Patient: But I don’t have four spoons in house. Do I have to buy one?
on 12/4/2009 11:04:44 AM
Funny Doctor Joke
'Dr. Smith is checking a little boy named Tom.
Placing the stethoscope he said,
'Naughty boy, now take a long breath and say Five, three times.'
Tom is great at math. He always gets 100 out of 100. He said quickly, 'Doctor, its 15!!'
on 12/4/2009 10:56:57 AM
Stupid Doctor Joke
Patient: Doctor, I am having a strange dream these days. I dream that I have become a crow. What should I do?
Doctor: It’s easy. Start eating garbage.
on 12/4/2009 10:57:14 AM
Crazy Doctor Patient Joke
I have fever.
Ok, go back to your home; take a bath with ice cold water, then lie under fan for 12 hours without any clothes. Come back tomorrow.
I will be fine then?
No. you will get Pneumonia.
Don’t worry. I am only a Pneumonia specialist.
on 12/4/2009 10:57:48 AM