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funny jokes

Mar Vel
What did the bartender say to the burger who asked for a beer?
"Sorry, we do not serve food!"
#bartender #beer #burger
Mar Vel
How is a bad needle like a bad joke?
They both have no point!!!
#needle #pencil #point #questionjoke
Mar Vel
What did the football coach say to the ghost?
"Show some spirit!"
#question_joke #spirit #showsomespirit #ghost
Mar Vel
Wife: "You never compliment me. Tell me am I pretty or ugly?"
Husband: "You are both my dear."
Wife: "How?"
Husband: "You are pretty ugly!!!"

#compliment #husband #wife #pretty_ugly
Mar Vel
Girlfriend: "You never compliment me?"
Boyfriend: "You are ABCDEFGHIJK!!!!"
Girlfriend: "What!!"
Boyfriend: "You are Awesome, Beautiful, Cute, Desirable, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, and Hot."
Girlfriend: Blushing…."and…... IJK?"
Boyfriend: "I'm Just Kidding!"
#boyfriend #girlfriend #compliment #abcdefghijk
Mar Vel

VIP

One day the President was early to a conference. He was bored and to kill time asked his driver if he could drive around for a bit….just for fun. The driver and the President exchanged places. Sadly, the President’s driving was not the best and they got pulled over by the cops. On seeing the occupants of the car, the cops called their chief and informed him that they had pulled over a VIP and asked him what to do. The chief asked who the VIP was. The cop replied, “ I don’t know, but the President is his driver!”.

#president #driver #driving #cops #police #mistaken_identity #vip
Mar Vel
One day a politician was on his way to a press conference. He was tired of answering the same old questions. He asked his driver, who resembled him if he would dress as him and attend the conference. The driver agreed.

Unfortunately, a smart new reporter was at the press conference and asked a very difficult question.

Unfazed, the driver replied, “Your question is so simple that I’m going to ask my driver to answer it!”.

#driver #press_conference #impersonation #politician