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Funny Jokes

Man 1: I think my wife is cheating me
Man 2: How did you conclude that?
Man 1: She said that she was with Jenny on Sunday afternoon.
Man 2: So?
Man 1: But that is not possible because I was with Jenny on sunday afternoon.


Teacher: How many times have I told you not to speak when I am teaching.
Student: Five times today ma'am.
04 June 2011 12:44:54 PM UTC
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Laugh aloud Jokes

A man travelling in a crowded bus found a hand
inside his pocket and saw a little kid.

"What do you think you are doing?", he asked the kid.

Kid: "I wanted to take a matchbox"
Man: "Then why didn't you ask me?"
Kid: "My mom had told me not to talk to strangers".




Thief 1: I turn people whom I rob into beggars.
Thief 2: I turn people I rob into millionaires.
Thief 1: How?!
Thief 2: Well I rob only billionaires.



Man 1: If we menfolk were wise, there would be no divorces.
Man 2: Actually if we were even more wise, there would be no marriages.
04 June 2011 6:53:48 AM UTC
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Jokes

Judge: Do you know where you will go if you tell lies?

Accused: To hell

Judge: Then where will you go if you tell the truth?
Accused: To jail



Girl: I will share all your problems after we get married.
Boy: But I don't have any problem as of now.
Girl: I am talking about the time after our marriage.



Son: dad, please buy me a torch light. I have to take it to school tomorrow.

Dad: Why?

Son: Because my teacher asked me to throw some light on the life of Abraham Lincoln.
04 June 2011 6:53:20 AM UTC
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Boss and Employee

Boss: "Why do you come to office even on weekends?"

Employee: "Because I am not able to sleep at home properly."
04 June 2011 6:52:55 AM UTC
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Doctor and his wife

Wife to her doctor husband: What was the biggest mistake that you had made in your profession?

Doctor: I cured a man in a single day and late came to know that he was very rich.
04 June 2011 6:52:41 AM UTC
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Silly Kid

A boy went to a toy shop and gave some play money to the shopkeeper and asked for a toy ship.

Shopkeeper: "Sorry son, but this money is not real"

Boy: "But the ship is also not real"
04 June 2011 6:52:24 AM UTC
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Maid and Master

Housemaid to the master of the house: "I am quitting becase you don't trust me"

Master: "How can you say that. I even leave the keys of the jewelry safe with you"

Housemaid: "But none of them fits!"
04 June 2011 6:51:40 AM UTC
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Husband and Wife Joke

During the twentieth wedding anniversary the wife found her husband crying. She told,

"I never knew you were so affectionate of me and our relationship."

The Husband asked her, "Do you remember when your father threatened me that he will send me to jail for 20 years if I didn't marry you?"

Wife: "Yes, so what?"

Husband: "Well, I would have been free now if I had been to the jail rather".
04 June 2011 6:51:26 AM UTC
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The doctor and the kid

Doctor: What happened to you?
Kid: I swallowed a ball.
Doctor: And who is this other fella, you brother?
Kid: No, he is the owner of the ball.
04 June 2011 6:51:08 AM UTC
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Amusing Jokes

A lady helps her son finish the science project. Son comes back from school and says, "Sorry mom, you got a zero in science".


Man1: I remember seeing your face somewhere else.
Man2: I don't think so because my face is always with me.


Mom and Son go to a wedding. Son asks: Mother, why is the bridegroom wearing a white dress?
Mom: Because white is the color of joy and today is a joyful day for her.
Son: Then why is the bride wearing a black dress?
04 June 2011 6:50:52 AM UTC
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Animal

What sport does a horse like?
Stable tennis
04 June 2011 6:50:34 AM UTC
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Animal

What sport does a horse like?
Stable tennis
04 June 2011 6:50:33 AM UTC
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Silly Doctor

Nurse: The patient who just left a moment ago has fallen down dead on the front door. What to do now?!
Doctor: Turn him around so that it would look like he was walking in.
04 June 2011 6:49:52 AM UTC
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Teacher and Student Jokes

Teacher: What is the unit of power?
Student: What ma'am?
Teacher: Good, sit down.

Teacher: I did not have fun on the seashore. Can you correct this sentence?
Student: Get a boyfriend.
04 June 2011 6:49:36 AM UTC
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Funny Jokes List

Beggar: Can you please lend me 5 bucks. My wife and children must be crying waiting for me.
Man: Where are they now?
Beggar: At the cinema theatre. We are falling short of 5 bucks for the tickets.

Cop sees a suspicious looking basket, hits it with his stick and asks the owner, "What is in this basket?"
Owner: "Some time ago there were glass bangles. I don't know what is in it now!"

Group of people came to a rich man hoping to get a donation from him for opening a new school.
Rich man: "Ok, I will put my son and daughter in your school".
04 June 2011 6:49:11 AM UTC
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