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Distant Relative Santa: Who is Manta? Banta: A distant relative of mine. Santa: How is he related to you? Banta: He is my own brother. Santa: Then why did you say that he was a distant relative. Banta: Because between us there are 5 brothers and 4 sisters.
2 Men Man 1: Why did you leave your wife? Man 2: Because she became fat. Man 1: Buy you have broken the wedding promise. Man 2: No but I only promised that I will stand through thick and thin.
Cricket Joke Cricket player to his friend: It is important to be a good fielder. Friend: Why? Cricket: So that you can catch the pinroll when your wife throws it on you.
Two Men Joke Man 1: My wife has a bad habit of sleeping only after 2 am. Man 2: What does she do till then? Man 1: She is waiting for me to return home.
Iron and Gold Joke Teacher: What will happen to iron if kept in the open for a long time. Student: It will become rusted. Teacher: How about gold? Student: It will get stolen.
Physics Joke A physics teacher noticed that one of the students had fallen asleep and his head was about to fall on the table. He pulled his ear and said: "How dare you sleep in my class?" The student replied, "Sir it was just the force of gravity acting on my head. What can I do?"
Director and Girl Joke Director to young girl: You can play the role of the mother. Girl: But I am too young for that. Director: Don't worry, you are not the only one who come to me for a role. When your turn comes, you will be at the right age.
Waiter and Customer Joke Waiter: Please don't insult me my tipping me just one dollar. Customer: Then how much do you want as a tip? Waiter: One more dollar. Customer: Sorry, I don't want to insult you twice.
2 Kids Joke Kid 1: My dad is so strong that he can stop three trucks and ten cars with a single hand. Kid 2: Wow, what is your dad? Kid 1: A traffic policeman
Teacher and Student Jokes Teacher: Do you know to write? Student: Yes ma'am Teacher: Them write your name on the black board. Student scribbles something on the board. Teacher: What is that you have written? Student: I know to write but not to read ma'am Teacher: Do you know why the number of days of holidays is more during the summer than during the winter season? Student: Because during the summer everything expands which during the winter everything contracts.
Silly The organizer asked the lady in an art exhibition: "Your reason for coming to this exhibition..." The lady replied, "It's raining outside"
2 Men Joke Man 1 to another man: I heard that you are having an affair with the girl next door and you are also planning to divorce your wife. Man 2: No way, I will die of hunger if I divorce. Man 1: How? Man 2: The girl next door doesn't know to cook.
World War 3 Joke Teacher: What will happen if a third world war happens? Student: I will fail in history ma'am.
Hilarious Santa: I am as strong as I in my younger days. Banta: How do you say so? Santa: You see that heavy rock over their... I couldn't lift it when I was young and I am not able to lift it now also.
Short Jokes There are only two times that you cannot understand a woman... before marriage and after marriage. Santa: I really don't understand how some people can stay for 20 days without brushing their teeth. My mouth starts feeling bad on the 10th day itself. Lady of the house: My husband seems to be having an affair with the cook. Maid: Please don't make me feel jealous.