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Betty Batt

Husband and Wife Funny Jokes

Wife: Do you remember those sweet days when you use to jump over the walls to meet me on the terrace.
Husband: Yes I do. Nowadays I feel like jumping down from the terrace.



Wife: I don't look thirty five years old now.
Husband: Yes, you are right. You used to look like that ten years before.



Wife to husband: You never give enough respect to my relatives.
Husband: That's not true. I always take care of your in-laws well more than my in-laws.
04 June 2011 12:53:28 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Funny Jokes

Man 1: What will you be more happy with, ten million dollars or ten kids?
Man 2: Ten kids
Man 1: Why?
Man 2: Because a man with ten million dollars will want more while a man with ten kids will not want more.




Wife: How come you are back so early from Office today?
Husband: My boss told me to go to hell and so I came to home.



A social worker to a beggar: Aren't you ashamed of begging like this everyday. Why don't you come with me, I can give you a work which can earn you fifty bucks a day.
Beggar: Why don't you come with me instead and beg. It can earn you 10 bucks a day.
04 June 2011 12:53:04 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Lady and Beggar

Lady to a beggar: Aren't you ashamed of taking money by begging?
Beggar: What to do, if I take the money without begging the cops are catching me.
04 June 2011 12:52:44 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Ghost Joke

One ghost to another: I think a man is approaching this way.
Ghost 2: Don;t be superstitious, there are no men in this world.
04 June 2011 12:52:28 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: I planted some rose plants in my house last month but I don't think they will ever grow because they have no roots.
Banta: How do you know that?
Santa: I removed them from the pot and checked for the root everyday.


Santa: Who is that ugly looking lady over there?
Banta: She is my wife.
Santa: Oh, I am very sorry, I made a mistake.
Banta: No, it is me who made a mistake.


Santa: How come you have a black eye?
Banta: My wife hit me in the bedroom yesterday.
Santa: But I thought your wife had gone to your in-laws.
Santa: Even I thought so.
04 June 2011 12:52:14 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

In-laws Joke

Father-in-law to son-in-law: Do you drink?
Son-in-law: Is it a question or an invitation?
04 June 2011 12:51:50 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Hotel Joke

Customer at the hotel: Waiter, why is my tea cold?
Waiter: Because it is from Darjeeling sir.
04 June 2011 12:51:37 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Boxing Joke

A man in the audience of the boxing match was cheering both the boxers to break each others teeth.

Another man asked him:
"Why are you so cheering them to break their teeth?"

The man replaied, "Because I am a dentist"
04 June 2011 12:51:24 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

2 Lady Jokes

Lady 1: I want to marry a someone who can dance, sing, entertain and stays at home always with me.
Lady 2: Then marry a television set.



Lady 1: My husband always guides everyone on the right path.
Lady 2: Is he a philosopher or spritual guru?
Lady 1: Neither, he is a traffic policeman.
04 June 2011 12:51:03 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

2 Ladies Joke

Lady 1: I am having a severe headache.
Lady 2: Whenever I have a headache, my husband gives me a good rub and a massage and it vanishes.
Lady 1: Ok then, where is your husband now?
04 June 2011 12:50:45 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Mother and Son

Mother: Didn't I asked you to keep an eye on the cat when it enters the kitchen? See what has happenned now, it has drunk all the milk.

Son: I did keep an eye on the cat all the time when it was in the kitchen drinking the milk.
04 June 2011 12:50:34 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

2 Ladies Joke

Lady 1: How did you cure you husband's habit of biting his teeth.
Lady 2: I knocked down all his teeth.
04 June 2011 12:50:21 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Table Joke

Doctor to patient: Here are two tablets which you have to take after dinner. One is for the headache and the other is for the stomachache.

Patient: But doctor, how will the tablets know where to go?
04 June 2011 12:50:09 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Table Joke

Doctor to patient: Here are two tablets which you have to take after dinner. One is for the headache and the other is for the stomachache.

Patient: But doctor, how will the tablets know where to go?
04 June 2011 12:50:09 PM UTC
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Betty Batt

Bank, Judge and Thief Joke

A man was filling up a form for opening a new savings account in the Bank and in the column which asked reason for opening the account, he wrote: Your beautiful cashier.

Judge: Why did you steal this man's bike?
Thief: Because he didn't have a car.
04 June 2011 12:49:42 PM UTC
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