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Mar Vel
A skeleton walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender rolls his eyes at him and hands him a drink and then a mop.
#Skeleton #Drink #Bar
Mar Vel
A man was talking to his friend at the bar. He confided in him that strange things were happening at his home. When he opened his bathroom door the lights came on automatically and when he shut it they went off. He was worried that there was some paranormal activity in his home. His wife walked in and overheard him. She burst out laughing and told him that he was peeing in the fridge….again!

#Paranormal #Fridge
Mar Vel
A lady was changing in the locker room and saw that her friend was wearing men’s briefs. “Since when do you wear men’s underwear?”, she asked. “Since my husband found it in my car.”, she replied.
#RedHanded #MensBriefs
Mar Vel
A person sees a sign outside a home saying that they have a talking cat that they want to give away. Intrigued by the sign a lady walks in and strikes up a conversation with the cat. The cat gives the lady an account of her whole life. She tells her how she was a kitten in a foreign country, stowed away on a ship and about her many adventures. The lady was so taken up with the cat that she didn’t even realise that hours had gone by. She made a splendid offer for the cat that the owner happily accepted. Out of curiosity, she asked the owner why he wanted to be rid of such a marvellous creature. He replied that the cat was lying and did not do half the things that she said that she had.
#TalkingCat #Animal Jokes
Mar Vel
A man is admitting his wife into the hospital. She is in labour and he is visibly nervous and upset. The nurse asks him, “Her first child?”. He replies, “No! I’m her husband.”.
Mar Vel
What did the shark pack for his picnic?
A peanut butter and jellyfish sandwich.
Mar Vel
“You lost your car?”
“Yes.”
Your name?”

“Car-los”.
Mar Vel
Mar Vel
Mar Vel
Why did the fruit go to the hospital?
He was not peeling well at all.