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Mar Vel
A man walks into a hotel reception to check in accompanied by his dog. The receptionist says that pets are not allowed as per the hotel’s policy. He tells her it is a seeing-eye dog. She apologizes and also gives him a discount on the room. On his way out the man sees a lady approaching the hotel with her suitcase and dog and he gives her a tip on lying to the receptionist regarding her dog. When the lady walks into the hotel, she is told that the hotel does not allow pets. She replies that her dog is a seeing-eye dog. The receptionist laughs and says, “Chihuahuas are not seeing eye dogs!”. The lady replies, “A Chihuahua!!! They gave me a Chihuahua!”.
#Chihuahua #Dog
Mar Vel
A colony of vampire bats watched astonished as the youngest bat flew in covered in fresh blood and went to rest hanging from his favorite perch. They kept asking him where he found prey as they were very hungry for blood too. Finally, after much bullying and begging, he consented to show them….the entire colony followed him and it was an impressive sight to behold. They flew high and they flew low till they were tired of flying finally the youngest bat slowed down and asked the others if they could see the tall tower in front of them and they all chorused, “Yes, we can!”. He replied, “Well I didn’t!”.
Mar Vel
A woman was telling her friend that she had successfully made her boyfriend a millionaire. Her friend asked what he had been before he met her. She answered, “A multi-millionaire!”.
#Millionaire
Mar Vel
Three girls were browsing through things at the back of the thrift store when they stumbled upon a magic lamp. A genie came out of it and offered them a wish each. The first one wished that she were a full scholarship student at the best university in the country. The genie granted her wish and she vanished. The second wished to be on a permanent vacation on her own tropical island. Granted. She vanished. The third girl, a blonde, looked around and sighed saying, “ Aww! I wish my friends were back with me!” Granted. End of story.
Mar Vel
The blonde was at store browsing amongst the curtains. The salesgirl asked her if she needed help. She replied that she was looking for small curtains for her computer. The clerk was puzzled and asked why her computer would need curtains. The blonde replied, “Because it has windows of course!”
#BlondeCurtains #BlondeJoke
Mar Vel
A blonde needed to buy a book and went to the library. She walked in and asked the lady at the desk if she could buy a book. The lady whispered back that it was a library. The blonde whispered back, “Oh! I’m sorry for being loud. May I buy a book.”
#BlondeLibrary #BlondeJoke
Mar Vel
The blonde rushed to her doctor and declared that she was pregnant with twins. The doctor asked how she knew that. She replied that she had bought a twin pack pregnancy tests and both the tests were positive.
#PregnantBlonde #BlondeJoke
Mar Vel
One summer, a man found his blonde girlfriend sweating and painting the garden fence wearing two fur coats. He asked her why. She said that the paint instructions said that for best results one should use two coats.
#BlondePaintingFence #BlondeJoke
Mar Vel
A blonde went to the gym and consulted with a fitness instructor for a plan to lose weight. The fitness instructor gave her a meal plan and told her to work out at the gym for an hour three times a week and skip the other days. The blonde came in for a review after a month and had lost an astonishing amount of weight. The instructor was intrigued and asked her for details on her daily meals and activities. She replied that she quite enjoyed the diet and the gym but that skipping all day on four days a week was extremely difficult.
#BlondeExercise #BlondeJoke
Mar Vel
A blonde was tired of blonde jokes and dyed her hair black. She walked into a store where there was a contest where the person who guessed the correct number of coins in a jar would win a million dollars and a TV of their choice. She made a wild guess and guessed the number of coins correctly. She won the contest. The store owner was horrified that he would have to part until he saw the ‘TV’ she had chosen. He approached her and challenged her to a bet that she should return the million dollars if he correctly guessed her hair color. She could keep the microwave she had chosen.